Friday, May 09, 2008

Hangin' 'em up.

I did it. I pulled the plug on competitive ultimate in my life. Folks are responding in a variety of stunned ways... Mostly because we'd already had our team kickoff meeting and I'd helped lead that meeting as if nothing was going on.

Truthfully, though, even then I was weary of continuing... And as the weeks went on I realized that I didn't have the requisite drive to complete the season in the way I would expect of myself, and that my teammates would have expected of me.

I am ready to do some other things with my time and my money. And the fact that my back is a total mess is not helping. Also not helping is my girlfriend, who really would like to be the number one priority in my life and who would like to not have to guess when I might be available to hang out.

Long story short, it's time. I am disappointed that it's time, which is something I can't explain to folks very well. I don't know how to articulate this complicated state of mind. I wish that I was a super-stud who could push through every obstacle and whose physical limitations can be overcome with additional hard work. But I'm really not that person, not now, not at 37 years old after 15 years of roaming the pitch. I'm ready to accept the me who loves beer and tv, who has to watch her weight, who likes golf and hiking, and who is terrified of sustaining a serious injury. The me who plays ultimate for the people not the game.

Hopefully the people will understand that; the game doesn't care one way or the other.

1 comment:

Roberth said...

It is always sad when you have to let go of something that you once loved or were passionate about. But I guess for some people that time comes, and that time has come for you. I am sure the memories were worth it!