I'm a practice player. I'm not very good at that.

Back to ultimate for a change. Geez, I've been remiss. Too much work crap showing up on the blog and not enough actual crap.

Anyway, as my 12 readers know, I was one of the captains for Mucho Gusto last year, and this year I decided to retire from competitive ultimate and focus on other activities... Like not depleting my bank account with plane tickets, not sprinting when it's 107 degrees, not kvetching about things I can't control.

So, new for 2008, is Practice Heather. PH is slow, uncoordinated, and can't do a stupid weave drill right to save her life... But PH also can't seem to stop coaching and telling people what to do. PH senses a knowledge gap (or at least a teaching communication gap), and can't stand to not fill it.

I think these communications are generally well recieved - I focus them on fundamentals and core competencies rather than on strategy and execution of specific offensive and defensive sets the captains have installed. And I try to target the greener members of the crew and their individual "teachable moments." But I am concerned that I will piss off the veterans (more than I already have by retiring) and stick my foot in it by incorrectly correcting someone who actually doesn't need my peanut gallery commentary.

So as a practice player, the biggest thing I need to practice is shutting my mouth.

Hangin' 'em up.

I did it. I pulled the plug on competitive ultimate in my life. Folks are responding in a variety of stunned ways... Mostly because we'd already had our team kickoff meeting and I'd helped lead that meeting as if nothing was going on.

Truthfully, though, even then I was weary of continuing... And as the weeks went on I realized that I didn't have the requisite drive to complete the season in the way I would expect of myself, and that my teammates would have expected of me.

I am ready to do some other things with my time and my money. And the fact that my back is a total mess is not helping. Also not helping is my girlfriend, who really would like to be the number one priority in my life and who would like to not have to guess when I might be available to hang out.

Long story short, it's time. I am disappointed that it's time, which is something I can't explain to folks very well. I don't know how to articulate this complicated state of mind. I wish that I was a super-stud who could push through every obstacle and whose physical limitations can be overcome with additional hard work. But I'm really not that person, not now, not at 37 years old after 15 years of roaming the pitch. I'm ready to accept the me who loves beer and tv, who has to watch her weight, who likes golf and hiking, and who is terrified of sustaining a serious injury. The me who plays ultimate for the people not the game.

Hopefully the people will understand that; the game doesn't care one way or the other.